Aphelion Issue 301, Volume 28
December 2024 / January 2025
 
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The Relativity Abell 520 Restaurant

WE CATER TO EVENT HORIZON PARTIES,
one charge and no strings

by Rico Salvatore


For reservations see your metaphysical agent and book early via our secure non-local entangled communication system. Seating is limited to the current big bounce or crunch whichever survives or arrives first.

We’re a 5 Ming-Xing certified restaurant organized under and subject to the gravitational laws of the Train Wreck Cluster as well as the intergalactic trade laws.

MENU

  • Gluon Free Menu … upon request
  • Ads/CFT Holographic ever contracting all you can eat brunch menu … upon request
  • String Theory pasta, always al-dente
  • Quark Soup with free roaming quarks
  • Quark Soup and Quark salad up, with down and variable-colored charms
  • Matzo ball loop quantum gravity soup (one serving will fill your universe). It’s a belt buster!
  • Pi R Squared Pizza, order clusters or singularity slices
  • Planck-burst w/black hole or white hole filled center pastries
  • Subatomic particle drinks to propel you through any crack in your reality

Prices fluctuate depending upon gravitation and relativity combined with location, velocity, and degree of entropy.

Small print:
Not available to the inhabitants of planet Earth at this time. But we did sneak there and got the recipe for one hell of a dessert, called NOT A TESLA PIE. Prices are always falling. It’s great! Supplies limited due in part to tariffs and the danger associated with huge degree of orbital junk and crude weapons systems.


© 2024 Rico Salvatore

Rico Salvatore (BA, CAS, DOM) is a man of mystery… He began writing short stories and poems about 18 years ago after his exile from the Train Wreck Cluster 811 million parsecs from Earth for blaspheming the local political gods.

To assuage his home sickness, he has self-published 4 children’s books including one self-illustrated book of poems.

Rico was the art editor of Quantum Muse and has been published in Aphelion-webzine.com, Orion’s Arm.com, ShortHumour.org.uk, Poetry Hall a Chinese & English Bilingual Journal and has few stories in the anthologies: “A Flash of Aphelion,” “Fantastical Savannahs And Jungles”, “Xenobiology”, “Bleakest Towers” and “Of Poets, Spies, And The Unearthliness in the Time of Shakespeare and Marlow” where he has a poem written in an early/mid English style. He’s assisted with the translation of some poetry for a Chinese poet.

While on the planet he studied at The Art Students League in NYC and later picked up a degree in History with an advanced certification in Asian Studies from Rutgers University. Postgraduate studies concentrated in Chinese maritime history.

He and his two partners started and owned one of the first nationally based resume database companies specializing in high tech, computer security and various advanced systems of specialized and classified nature.

Rico may be contacted at mailto:ricoglg1033@gmail.com

Find more by Rico Salvatore in the Author Index.

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